Since May is National Homeschooling Awareness Month so here are The Top Benefits of Homeschooling Your Kid.
- You don’t have to teach them those stupid, unnecessary subjects like Sex Ed and Science.
- You know her prom date won’t try to take advantage of her . . . because it’s YOU.
- There’s no chance for them to pick up any “This one time at band camp” stories.
- They think they’re getting Home Ec credits, but what they’re really doing is making your dinner.
- If he says the dog ate his homework, you can verify it by fingering through Fido’s poop.
- When he’s finally thrust into the real world, society will snap his fragile soul like a twig. Ha-ha!
- You save money on textbooks, field trips, band instruments, and other things that come with a legit education.
- Michelle Obama’s gluten-free lunches can kiss your ass!You never have to worry about him having friends who try to get him to drink. Or friends who try to get him to do drugs. Or any friends whatsoever.
- Everyone knows there’s NOTHING socially awkward about a kid who spends every waking second with his parents, instead of kids his own age.
- Since she’s an engineering prodigy, she can design and build her own bounce house and trampoline.
- They have a better chance of learning how to be disciplined, responsible, and socially awkward.
- You get to home-bully them, too!
- You can get them a selfie a stick and they can take their own class picture.
- You don’t have to worry about them buying pot from other kids . . . they’ll use your dealer!